What are you doing?
She used that voice.
That teacher voice she used to use when she wanted to startle young men into apologetic submission.
Oh boy do I ever know that voice.
I dropped whatever has been in my hands and looked flustered at the sound of that voice my entire life.
Even when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I’d have the same reaction. You know that reaction, that caught masturbating reaction. 1 I stopped moving. I dropped my hands to my sides then waited.
Her: Don’t pull up anything green. They could be carrots. They could be peas, beans, tomatoes or tomatillos.
Me: You don’t know what you’ve planted here?
Her: I’m lazy gardening. Some things are just going to grow back.
Me: And you want us to let them?
Her: Yes. They could be a pepper.
Me: They could be golden rod.
Her: Fuck you.
I was right.
Most of it was goldenrod.
I dug it up as soon as I was told.
But within my wife’s random garden, surprises and successes are as common as salt. We had three tomatillo plants that grew up from so…
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