back yard eden

the lazy way

What are you doing?

She used that voice.

That teacher voice she used to use when she wanted to startle young men into apologetic submission.

Oh boy do I ever know that voice.

I dropped whatever has been in my hands and looked flustered at the sound of that voice my entire life.

Even when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I’d have the same reaction. You know that reaction, that caught masturbating reaction. ¹ I stopped moving. I dropped my hands to my sides then waited.

Her: Don’t pull up anything green. They could be carrots. They could be peas, beans, tomatoes or tomatillos.

Me: You don’t know what you’ve planted here?

Her: I’m lazy gardening. Some things are just going to grow back.

Me: And you want us to let them?

Her: Yes. They could be a pepper.

Me: They could be golden rod.

Her: Fuck you.

I was right.

Most of it was goldenrod.

I dug it up as soon as I was told.

But within my wife’s random garden, surprises and successes are as common as salt. We had three tomatillo plants that grew up from so…