Automotive citrus

and a chorus of goats

It was my birthday recently.

We had the family over for cake and coffee after supper the next day.

My parents came, my sister, her husband and son were there.

There was a great crowd!

It was nice that everyone came over.

My parents?

They have a new car.

The old car?

It had problems.

So it had to go.

Sure, it was pretty new, but there were problems with it.

The new one?

Well, they’ve hardly driven it a week and it has problems too.

I think they sold me a lemon.

Something about a computer and a seat that doesn’t move when the door doesn’t open.

Or something like that.

Either way, the car has not been satisfying so far.

What’s worse?

It makes a sound.

It makes a sound that my mom can’t even imitate.

So?

So what did I do dear reader?

What would you do?

I started shouting random sounds

Annoying sounds.

Loud sounds.

Like the kind of sounds that would make me wonder whether or not my car was going to explode kind of sounds.

They were good sounds.

I was having fun making sounds

(Oh how I wish I could make sounds for you dear reader! The things you would hear!)

Imagine for example a fog but instead of a fog horn it’s a goat with a lobster grabbing on to its nutsack with it’s big angry pincer claw.

Good times.

Soon, the room became a chorus of noises as my mom told her story.

The point of this dear reader?

If life sells you a lemon,

Make lemonade

Or a least hope to god that the chorus you face when it does is utterly fucking absurd.

Keep on bleatin’ you fiends.