ass prunes, apps and analogue freedom

the best approach to digital detox

I thought life was supposed to be getting easier.

I mean all of this technology was supposed to free us in order to do more with increased convenience.

Recently, I stumbled upon not just a single relic of another era, but an entire bank of relics.

That’s right. I found myself facing a bank of pay phones.

I was shocked to discover that local calls no longer cost a quarter nor a dime.

Instead?

They required a full fifty cents in order to be operated.

Subsequently, what kind of nutty business model did these pay phones operate under? It used to cost a dime or a quarter to make a phone call. That’s fine, but then?

Someone would have to collect, sort and count all of those dimes.

That seems like a whole lotta squeeze for a little sip of juice.

Back in University, we learned that you didn’t even need to pay to talk on these phones. You could call them if you knew the number. I’d regularly phone the Dal Arts centre - just to see who was around and have a chat with whom ever happened to answer.

In those days, buying hash was a highly fraught process. You needed to know a guy to get a number.

That number invariably connected you to a pager where you had to leave your number.

I never liked the idea of leaving my actual number on a drug dealers pager. Instead? I’d leave the number of whatever pay phone I planned on hanging out around.

Attempts to buy drugs typically featured long evenings waiting for a pay phone to ring. Some times we’d spend the whole night there and go home completely skunked.

I KNOW dear reader - How surprising. Drug dealers in the early 90’s were unprofessional and unreliable.

Shocking really.

For all of their inconveniences - whether looking for change or missing calls, these ‘pay phones’ had one thing going for them that the iPhone does not. They were easy to ignore and even easier to leave behind.

They weren’t engineered to demand more attention than a two year old with a diaper filled with ass prunes. You’d use them then get on with life.

Bereft of ‘apps’ they exerted very little influence over our lives. They were merely a tool, not a lifestyle nor luxury brand.

Back then people may have been more difficult to get in touch with.

But it seems as though people were a bit more in touch with themselves.

I’ve heard that the generation Zee types have been reveling in flip phones and black berries as a means to digital liberation.

I challenge all y’all to go one step further: Ditch the cell phone altogether. Go back to the early 90’s and the time of public pay phones.

Imagine what it will be like when your mommy can’t track you and a snap is something you do with your fingers.

That’s the shit right there.

Go for it.

Let your fingers do the walking…