an encore posting of 'how the horses escaped'
as told by cecil (fuck you ernie)
So, wildfire season has returned.
Luckily things have been moist here in Nova Scotia.
They haven’t elsewhere in Canadia.
Anyway, I found a post that I wrote during wildfire season that is one of my all time favorites here in the foolsletter.
I’m reposting it because I think it needs more eyeballs.
Also?
I need to rest my heavily poked and very very sore eyeball.
So without further yada yada yada, dear reader, I give you the story of how the horses escaped as told by Cecil (fuck you Ernie)
This post is a shining example of the benefits of giving up and allowing a horse to write for you.
Well. I’m packing it in.
for this post anyway, I’m taking a break.
After feeling burnt out, I have passed today’s post off to someone else.
To all of you who reached out in support, I’m grateful.
Most of the time things are fine. I have a few sticking points where my emotional self regulation and lack of discernment sometimes causes a spiral into a pit.
As such, enjoy today’s post by Cecil.
Cecil narrowly escaped from the fire at Fox Point Stables.
Please forgive him any grammar errors and typos.
Keyboards are not made for hoofs.
Also? Some of you, if you know the horses there, know him by another name. That’s the name he lets the ‘two leggers’ call him. He goes by Cecil when he’s among his own kind.
(Finally, Cecil tends to swear. Who knew horses were so naughty?)
I Cecil.
This day start bright.
This day warm.
This day wind taste nice. Taste summer. Taste dry grass.
In paddocks were us.
Warm day. Warm time starting. Warm day one. More warm day next.
Hay in box. Water in bucket. Happy.
Lloyd?
Sleeping.
Ernie?
Fuck off Ernie.
Ernie trapped. Rope in legs.
Ernie tried go. out.
Ernie stretched for last spring grass.
Spring grass so good. Wet. Taste wet.
All gone
Cecil chew spring grass.
Lloyd chew spring grass.
Ernie? Fuck that guy. Ernie short neck neck so short. Neck no reach. HA! No reach, no chew. Earnie? Fuck you.
Today. Cecil work. Tired.
Today. Lloyd work. Resting.
Today. Ernie no work. Ernie no lame. Ernie fake it. Ernie lazy.
Two leggers gone.
Rumble away in cans.
Martha stay.
Martha kind.
Martha top. Big power. Big bite. Martha big bite snap stick sting.
Power two legger.
Respeak.
Cecil respeak Martha.
Then?
Air taste change.
Taste of heat.
Taste of pain. Taste of fear.
Air taste like death.
Air taste of tree screams.
Lloyd taste air. Lloyd wake.
Lloyd anger.
Lloyd bite Cecil ass.
Cecil kick Lloyd face.
Ernie bite Lloyd.
Lloyd kick Ernie.
Fuck you Ernie.
That serve you!
Bite ass win face kick.
Donkey.
Ernie horse?
yes.
Cecil think Ernie donkey.
Thrash thrash thrash!
Eat front hoof Lloyd!
Eat back hoof Ernie!
Sharp sound, what that?
Martha!
Martha remote bite flying flesh!
Ouch!
Martha blow. Sound sharp.
OUCH! MARTHA!
Martha point small hoof.
Cecil stop.
Lloyd stop.
Ernie long slow poop.
Respeak.
Tin can rumbler. Travel tube arrive.
We go? Show? Beach? ‘Klinik’?
Martha lead line Cecil.
Martha lead line Lloyd.
Martha lead line Ernie. Ernie drop dick. Piss. Soak Martha.
Smell change.
Martha smell change?
Fear?
Martha smell of fear?
Cecil fear. Cecil whinny.
Lloyd fear. Lloyd whinny.
Ernie fear. Ernie snort, fart, sneeze, poo and piss. Same time for all. Fuck you Ernie.
Man speak Martha. Martha whinny. Martha bray. Martha fear.
Martha unhook Cecil. What this?
Martha unhook Lloyd. What this?
Martha unhook Ernie. Ernie try bite man.
Martha scrape ground with hoof.
Martha shake head.
Air taste new
Air taste hard.
Air taste close. Air taste warm. Warm taste close.
Air taste pain. Fear. Death. Tree screams.
Heart racing. Twitching legs.
Stomp.
Whinny.
Bray.
Air taste bad!
Air taste bad!
Martha shout!
GO!
Crack sound!
OUCH MARTHA?
What me?
For what?
Cecil fear.
Lloyd fear.
Ernie eat spring grass.
Barn safety.
Cecil go barn?
Martha block.
BIG MARTHA SHOUT GO!
BIG MARTHA BITE WITH LEATHER
GO GO GO! SHOUT MARTHA.
Martha face wet.
Red wet face Martha.
Martha fear. Block safety. Block barn.
Air taste strong.
HOT.
Hot air taste.
Air burning.
Tube roll away.
Horse stay.
Paddocks all open.
GO! Shout Martha.
Martha kick Cecil.
Martha kick Lloyd.
Martha kick Ernie. Ernie kick Martha. Fuck you Ernie.
Crack! Martha bite!
GOOOOOOO!
Crack!
My ass? Fuck you Martha.
Cecil gallop.
Lloyd gallop.
Ernie gallop.
Orange dancing all places.
Hot orange danceing.
GALLOP!
Trees screaming.
Cecil hear trees scream.
Cecil taste trees scream.
All horse gallop.
Gallop long time.
Air taste less.
Stream.
Cecil drink stream.
Lloyd drink stream.
Ernie drink stream. Ernie shit stream. Piss. Fuck you Ernie.
Cecil bite Ernie.
Horses run.
Light gone.
Dancing orange not far. Safe.
Horses trot. Tree scream far now.
Long time.
Light come back.
Find big green spring grass.
Paradise.
Safe.
Cecil eat spring grass.
Lloyd eat spring grass.
Ernie eat spring grass.
Happy.
Cecil happy spring grass chew.
Lloyd happy spring grass chew.
Ernie happy spring grass chew.
New home.
Martha?
Martha!
Power Martha rumble.
Big shiny rumble tube.
Martha face wet.
Big shiny rumble tube - hay, grain!
Martha lead Cecil in tube.
Martha lead Lloyd in tube.
Martha lead Ernie in tube. Ernie ass Cecil face. Cecil bite. Ernie buck. Martha punch Ernie.
Fuck you Ernie.
Rumble in rumble tube.
New paddock.
New barn.
MARES!
HEAT!
HOT MARES HEAT!
Sad gelding Cecil.
Sad gelding Lloyd.
Sad gelding Ernie. Ernie try. Stupid Ernie. It no work. Fuck you Ernie!
Air taste new
Air taste sad.
New barn?
Fresh spring grass.
Cecil chew grass. Cecil happy.
Lloyd chew grass. Lloyd happy.
Ernie?
Ernie short neck no reach!
HAHAHAHAHAH!
Fuck you Ernie!
Fuck you ernie.