a troll's response to a ringing phone

how to have more freedom and less guilt - daily!

Why does no one call anymore?

When the phone rings?

It’s not for me.

It’s never for me.

Well.

They usually want to speak with me.

But do I want to speak with them?

Good lord NO!

Do you have this experience?

Are you plagued by Rando Callmichigan making your pants buzz to tell you that you are eligible for a new credit card?

Or that you are eligible to donate to the CNIB?

Or that maybe you should get a new credit card IN ORDER to donate to the CNIB?

Maybe the blind telemarketers don’t call you.

Perhaps it’s a pollster molester - they are people who molest your time in order to collect your opinions.

YOU CAN HAVE PURPOSE! YOU CAN INFLUENCE THINGS WITH YOUR OPINION!

Motherfuckers, they’re all motherfuckers - each and every one.

Oh sure, that person on the other end of the line is a human.

But that’s EXACTLY how they get you - they play up the whole ‘common humanity thing’.

Telemarketers, pollsters and door to door fundraisers are playing on one common human characteristic: People don’t see themselves as a…