a trolls guide to durty money

and how to blow snot rockets of contentment

I’ve been spending a lot of time in public these days.

Not only that, but I’ve been spending a WHOLE LOTTA time WITH the public.

And ya know what I’ve noticed dear reader?

Humans are filthy creatures with filthy habits.

No, I’m not talking about powerful farting or blasting snot rockets as you streak along on a bicycle - I do these things and THEY ARE COMPLETELY FINE.

Because dear reader, as you must know, that I am completely fine and 100% acceptable to every person all the time.

So farting and snot rockets get the green light - the snot rockets especially - though they are more of a greenish yellow…

Picking noses?

That’s a bit gross

But the most filthy and gross habit we’re obssesed with?

The one that causes the most harm in the world?

The games of status that you and every other motherfucker who reads this play unawares in the world.

You’ve done it your whole life.

But the biggest play in those games of all?

Deciding that status doesn’t matter - I don’t care what other people think…

Thanks for advertising it dickwad. Next, go on twitler and twitle that you’re leaving and this will be your last bit of cybertwattle.

(i love deadnaming lonny’s company and spelling it wrong - and no, the prick doesn’t even get the respek of having my slur of his name capitalized)

There are so many ways to chase status.

We can renounce it and be above status games.

We can flaunt the rules and constantly transgress all norms and drop out completely making ourselves so low status we slip under the radar.

Some work hard, live good lives earn money and believe that they are deserving of the status they perceive they have - the fools.

And yet,

They aren’t the BIGGEST FOOLS of all.

The truly foolish?

They buy lottery tickets.

Ya see, it’s not about the money.

In every lottery fantasy there’s a status game underneath it.

I’ll give money to the people I care about - hero status

I’ll donate at leat 20 % to fighting cancer in the testicles of puppies - the ‘good person’ who ‘saved the world’ from puppy nutsack cancer.

But money is never really the answer.

Instead?

Look to the book of wrong answers

Pretend that you’re wealthy and you don’t want anything.

Pretend that all that you have is good enough - your love, your life, your shitty car, those uncomfortable shoes and that damn iPhone 5.

All of that garbage?

It’s good enough.

As are you.

And then?

Go ride your bike and blow snot rockets at your friend.

It’ll make them pedal faster.